Health & Healing, Inspirational
Spark Circles: It’s Different Here, Intentionally
In our first Spark Circle in October 2022, a small group of women from across the country gathered online to begin to assess the impact of cancer on their lives and learn strategies for healing.
Even before we met, I had invited each woman to come to circle with intention. To claim their space- both physically and energetically, by finding a quiet space where they wouldn’t be disturbed. To bring their journal, a warm beverage, perhaps a candle and whatever they felt they wanted to feel cozy and comfortable.
To claim their space energetically by arriving to this space at least 15 minutes before logging on. Listen to soothing music, light their candle, perhaps add aromatherapy or burn incense.
This act of ritual signals that this time goes beyond the day-to-day tasks. That this exploration is sacred and needs to be acknowledged as such.
When a group of women gather in an intentional and sacred way, to honor themselves, each other, and all of life, Grace inevitably arrives. We move beneath words.
It is from THIS place that our inner Wise Woman, our Inner Healer or Best Self can shine and claim more of our focus.
There is a sacred edge to facing a cancer diagnosis- a “what if” that can shake us loose from the illusion that time is infinite and that the “same old way of existing" is a life.
It is my intention to witness each woman in circle in her radiant self, her full power, and encourage her true voice.
Our first session focused on what healing means and, more importantly, women were invited to reflect on their own lives and explore what healing looks like for them. Healing from the trauma of cancer is very different than curing the cancer. We leave that to our healthcare teams.
Language and self-concept are a big part of healing. Whatever follows the words “I am” is a declaration of identity.
That is why I didn’t ask about anyone’s cancer, what type, stage, etc as it is not the focus here.
It is intentional.
From my own experience, and from working in the cancer community for over a decade, I have found we tend to be siloed and then self-identify as our cancer type, DNA sequence, stage, etc.
“I am a stage 2 ALK + lung cancer patient” “I am a stage 4 breast cancer patient, Her 2 positive”
Those labels can become our identity and can keep us on the surface looking outside and separate from others, our lives and own wisdom. We are so much more than our diagnosis or genetic bio-marker.
It can also impede connection. A “no one understands me because our cancers/stages are different” can come into play, as can a hierarchy of perceived suffering. Thoughts of “My pain isn’t as bad as hers” can impede connection and increase shame and withdrawal. “Do I even have anything to share?”
Everyone’s experience is their own- you can be 10 years out and NED, and still not have begun to heal from all that cancer brought into your life. You can also be recently diagnosed with stage 4 disease and be actively focused on how to heal.
For these reasons, I asked the women in circle to suspend using their cancer type and stage as an identifier in circle.
I asked them to NOTICE how often their mind wanted to include those details. No judgment, just notice. To be mindful and create a bit of separation from the automatic pattern, and then notice what feeling comes up. Do they feel relief at not sharing? Agitated, or like something is missing?
It isn’t wrong or bad. It is totally normal and understandable- we all do it, and largely there hasn’t been a model of doing it differently.
Until now.
Here at Resilient Souls, we go beneath our diagnosis and treatments.
We meet intentionally, we connect with our breath and our hearts, and we are invited through guided meditation and writing to pause and connect with our inner wisdom.
If this approach piques your interest or stirs something within you, please join us.
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